Here’s why I almost never talk about mindset.
I think it’s over-covered when it comes to business strategy and advice for women. Now, I can’t tell you mindset isn’t important because your inner mean girl is going to feed all kinds of bologna into your mind. But, it isn’t what makes or breaks a business. It’s what makes or breaks the leader of the business and how you show up for yourself in your biz.
Silencing that inner mean girl, focusing on mindset manifesting is too often sold to us as entrepreneurial woman as the cure all for what ails our businesses. But really, I see them more as therapies. We must take time to do the work, show up time and time again and work through those inner demons. I think we get stronger and faster at conquering them each time we do that. So today, we’re talking about mindset with Irena Miller.
Mallory Schlabach
Today is going to be great. For those of you following along, this episode is part five of our series on reclaiming the term #girlboss, and what it really looks like to run your business and show up as a #girlboss. I think most people think about this idea of being fashionable, thin, childless, white and young. Instead, I want to start this conversation and create these spaces for creative, ambitious women who just really want to build wildly successful businesses. That’s my definition. That’s why I’m redefining it. So, Irena, I specifically picked you to come on because I wanted to tackle this topic. I’ve seen your work for years, and I know the magic you do. I’m going to call it magic. It’s wonderful. Before we dive into this topic, can you introduce yourself and explain what you do?
Irena Miller
Thank you so much Mallory. For me, it has been a joy for the last 20 years to work with visionary women of all ages – women who have big dreams, big hearts, and they have a calling. There’s something that’s stirred with their soul that motivates them to do something larger than life. It’s not just going out there and getting a job. These are women who want to make a difference. They want to make an impact and see the world be a better place. In order to do that, they come across quite a few obstacles and blocks along the way. Now the tangible blocks we can handle – with systems, processes and management. But what I discovered when I went into the corporate world, was that there this attitude and mindset issues that come up. Sometimes it’s seen as limiting beliefs or obstacles. There’s a way that we carry stress in our body that carries over into conversation and confidence. I would see women going into the boardroom or the conference room to give a big presentation, or even going live on YouTube and Facebook. What would happen is all of the sudden, their energy would fizzle.
When I first entered this space, I came in through doing physical movement. I decided to study yoga because I knew for me, movement was the best thing. If anybody sat me down to meditate, I would get angry. I had this great opportunity to study with the incredible meditation teacher, which I did. But more often than not, I would get up and leave the room because I couldn’t sit there. Over time, I developed the skills to do that. What I discovered is that in the beginning, if we can just move and move these big emotions up and out, all of a sudden, we step into our power. We claim our voice. With these women, I’ve been working with a variety of sacred tools. I started with yoga, so I became certified and had my own brick and mortar yoga school where I taught people and teachers. Then, what I ended up doing was shifting steadily as I saw people developing a body awareness. They started to see lower back pain and they realized they were stressing about their finances. They were getting locked jaw and their throat started to hurt or burn, and they noticed that they weren’t speaking their truth when it came to particular difficult conversations. They were holding back, and they didn’t want to offend or hurt anyone. They started to become aware that these physical sensations had an energetic component. So, I brought in practices of energy healing, I studied, certified and initiated a variety of them. Then I started to bring in other ways that you could shift the energy in the body. Things like tuning forks, some colors and sounds, and crystals or rocks in your pocket. But not everybody learns in the same way or connects to it. That’s kind of what makes me a bit different. I come into this space having been raised and even still attending church. I’m a Christian, and I bring these practices into being from that mindset and view to a certain degree.
Mallory Schlabach
No, it’s perfect, and this is exactly why I thought you were perfect for this conversation. I don’t talk about mindset often, because I feel like it’s too often used as a way to fix your business. It’s a band-aid. For what I’m seeing with so many women is that it’s not mindset that’s destroying your business, it’s destroying you. I think the conversation just needs to be shifted around that. So, to start this conversation is, what tends to be happening when you see women start to spiral out in their minds or getting stuck in these toxic thought patterns and limiting beliefs? What do you see happening?
Irena Miller
What I see happening most often from the one on one clients that I’m working with and talking with other women in the online space, are those phrases “staying in your own lane” or “keeping your eyes on the road”, which drives me absolutely nuts. As soon as I open up the Facebook feed or the Instagram feed, I am totally not staying in my own lane. I’m looking at what everybody else does. And it all comes from every direction. You think, “oh man, I’m so behind”, or “what do I think I’m doing, I’m not worthy and have nothing to offer.” It spirals out of control. So mindset drives me a little bonkers because we can say affirmations like “I am happy, I am healthy, I’m whole, I’m confident, I’m strong, I’m valuable, I’m worthy.” Yes, those do work. But unless you do the work, they fall short of shifting the energy behind it. We’re going to see other people succeeding and making incredible headway in our fields and we’ll start to think, “what am I missing here? What don’t I know?” So, when I look at it from an energetic perspective, beyond the mindset, what I discovered is that we pick up other people’s energy and thoughts, just like we pick up cold germs. You can imagine if someone sneezes, and they don’t do that dab or cover their face, we’re most likely going to be affected by those germs. As we go through life, whether it’s scrolling on the internet, or talking to other colleagues, we pick up their energy so easily.
For example, think about any time you’ve been around somebody who’s been very angry. When you away from that conversation, it’s hard not to feel at least a little bit angry, or sad. We pick up that energy like it’s a cold germ and we carry it with us. How often do we stop and say, wait a second, how much of these thoughts and emotions actually belongs to me? If we were to just imagine a speed dial in front of us and say, from 0 to 100, how much of this lack of self-belief and worthiness actually belongs to me? Then you realize it’s only about 20%. But the rest of the 80% is everybody else out there thinking they’ve fallen behind. There are processes you can go through to release those energetic germs, or thoughts that aren’t serving you in the highest way that they could be. That’s what I love walking women through. I have just this basic freebie that I offer called “Root Flush Fill” that helps with that process. It’s one of the foundational pieces that I offer people, because that’s what I see affecting them the most when they’re working in the online space.
Mallory Schlabach
I love that. I think that’s a very interesting distinction you’re making like to step away from the manifestations and affirmations, and just pumping yourself up. I think self-talk can only go so far. How do you break down this energetic talk? You and I have had this conversation a million ways. I just love picking your brain about it because you have helped me come to grips with this and understand it. So, for the audience, can you explain how to reconcile this with what you know to be true in your head?
Irena Miller
Yes, definitely. We’re energetic beings. So – what does that mean? Well, we’re made up of matter. Everything that’s made up of matter and made up of atoms – they’re all vibrating. So those little molecules that make up the atoms are all basically moving. So, something that appears solid, like your water bottle, is actually not solid on a certain level. It’s just vibrating at such a rate that it appears solid. Things that vibrate at a slower rate, you’re going to be able to move through – such as the air and water. Because everything is vibrating and knocking into each other, it’s making some kind of sound wave or noise. We may not be able to hear it – kind of like a tree falling in the forest. We may not hear this noise or see what’s going on around us like the radio waves moving through the air, but there are vibrations and frequencies all around us. So, when we think of energy, it’s just like radio waves, vibrations and frequencies – some we see that appear solid and give us color, and some, none at all. Now, these vibrations affect us differently. For example, think of color. You have people who say wear red because it’s a power color. It’s going to give you confidence and you’re going to feel bold and passionate. So, colors have an impact. So how does that affect us? Well, there’s a certain light wave that evokes a particular emotion within us.
When we talk about energy work, I might have a client who comes to me saying, I’m having a terrible day, or I’m feeling kind of bummed and not motivated. I might say, let’s check out your physical posture. There’s a whole methodology around holding your body to convey emotion. When we’re sad or feeling worried and tense, we tend to round versus being confident and big. I would suggest to the client to just shift the physical posture or even smile. Even when we’re not feeling it, it really does start to shift our energy and our mood. If you think of emotion, it’s just energy in motion, it’s is our mood. So you can do it through a physical gesture and shift your energy. You can do it through putting on a color or a song, and all of this to start to shift what is vibrating at the base beneath that mindset work. Without shifting what’s underneath that mindset work, we’re never going to make the jump from feeling blue to really experience that joy and that peace of mind.
Mallory Schlabach
I think that’s helpful. I think I learn something new every time you’re talking about this. I think for a lot of women it’s really hard for us to acknowledge that there’s an inner mean girl. We all know we have one, but we just think she’s us. We think it’s just one person and not two separate and almost warring identities. Do you have any tips or suggestions for how to get in contact with our insides? What is that and how do we tap into it?
Irena Miller
Yes, exactly. I literally have goosebumps as you talk about this because yes, this is one of the basic things. After we work to flush everybody else’s junk out of our system, all those thoughts that aren’t serving our highest, the next part is to really learn about your unique energy signature. Have you ever seen that movie Happy Feet with the penguins? They had to find their own unique song. Well, we each have a song like that. A vibration that makes us unique and different than anyone else in the world. Even if there was another beautiful blue-eyed blonde with your gorgeous hair, Mallory. They wouldn’t be the same. We all have this unique signature to us, just like in Happy Feet. The key is learning what your song is, and what it is that makes you a unique, vibrational, energetic, spiritual being having this human experience. We do that through a lot of different processes. Sometimes, it’s just what we like and what we don’t like – you’ll love the color red and you don’t like the color orange. That can tell you a lot about being passionate, very earthy and loving life. Maybe you love sunny yellow, and you can learn more about yourself that you’re confident, courageous and that you put yourself out there in the world – an incredible bold leader. These are things that give you little clues about yourself.
What ends up happening is that when you learn more about your energetic signature, you can start to distinguish when other little stinkers like weeds in the garden, start to come into your head. Like I said about that cold germy energy rubbing off, it’s so easy to pick up other people’s thoughts. For example, sometimes parents would say, “what do you think, money grows on trees?” or, “life is hard, you have to do hard work to get ahead and apply yourself”. We grow up with all of these freezes as well. There’s an ancestral component to it as well. Why are we bringing forward some of these phrases that are so ingrained in us from our community? Maybe not everybody subscribes to those beliefs. Well, it comes at a cost. Because even if they believe that’s okay, the community that they’re a part of as a whole may not believe it’s okay. So, it comes to an energetic cost to them. They may not realize that, and that can contribute to the inner mean girl.
Mallory Schlabach
I wish everybody could see you as you talk. I just could not stop watching you talk about this; I think that’s really great. I think that’s helpful to think about that differently. So, what’s in your tool bag? What types of tricks, tools and tips can people use for this? What do we not know?
Irena Miller
Well, the first thing that’s most important is to make sure you’re connected. What do I mean by connected? It’s very easy to burn out. We’re always trying to go on our own steam. We’re always trying to figure out the solution and the problem on our own. One of the things that I love most is I’m connecting to – and this can go by many different names – but I’m connecting to God. I’m connecting to source, to universe – I’m plugging in. You can always ask for angelic assistance. We have to ask though, because we have free will. I really believe in that. No matter how our angels want to step in and save the day, usually – we have to ask. God gave us a gift of free will. That’s the first thing that I noticed and one of the biggest things that my clients have the trickiest time remembering. Ask. Your angels love to help, and we all have guardian angel.
Mallory Schlabach
I love that. Even as you say this, I’m not sure when the last time was that I asked for help for anything! So Irena, we’ve talked a bit about what comes up for women, we’ve talked about staying connected to the source and to God and asking for help. What else comes up for women? What are we afraid of? For some reason, this keeps coming up to me. I think there’s fear around this whole mindset thing. There’s a deep-rooted fear within us. Where is this fear coming from
Irena Miller
You’re so intuitive, Mallory. You know what, it takes a lot of courage.
There’s a yoga hand gesture called Sankalpa Mudra. It’s where you bring your left hand across your heart. As your left hand comes across your heart, you set the back of the left hand onto your right thigh, your right hand comes down on top of your left, and you gently squeeze your hands together – like you’re holding your hand. What this represents is having the courage to turn in and take a true look at your heart. That’s your left arm crossing and making that commitment to yourself, and the right hand is coming down and saying, I’m going to commit to this, even when things get tough. I’m going to stay on the path.
Here’s the thing, when we take a moment to truly look to peer behind the curtain at what our heart really desires – so often, we’ve been living someone else’s life. Our parents wanted us to go to college graduate and get a great job. Maybe we wanted to do a gap year and go travel around Europe, or be an artist, but we became a doctor because we knew we wouldn’t be accepted as the artist. Maybe we wanted to have a family and raise them and have a non-traditional business, but society said no that’s not seen as a legitimate business. So, in order to people-please, so many women, deny their heart. To be able to pause and say, let me take a clear look. And am I really doing what I love? Is this me? Or am I simply falling into a role that society, my family, my husband, or my siblings expect? What we’ve seen isn’t always easy. It can be intense. We might look back and think, I wasted 10 years. What was I doing? But you know what? Nothing’s ever a waste at all, ever. So, wherever you are, whatever path you’ve taken, know that nothing has been a loss of what you’ve done. You’re exactly where you need to be. It’s just that moment of waking up. That, to me, is what I feel we fear most and can hold us back. Trust those gut instincts. And if you have a question about what your gut instinct is, I’m here.
Mallory Schlabach
I love that. I know that you show up live every week because I think people are going to fall in love with you just by listening to you. I know you do these energetic weather reports, which I find so fascinating. I love it so much. So can you tell me a little bit about where we can stalk you? What do you do online? Where do you show up most?
Irena Miller
Oh, thank you so much for asking! Every week I have my weekly energy show live with tips and intuition questions that come up in my community. That’s every Wednesday at noon, eastern standard time on Facebook. I’ve started something new as well, on Mondays, which I call “Energetic Weather Reports”. It’s a way to kind of just be playful and give people a heads up in learning how to ask themselves questions. Really take a moment for introspection. So that’s every Monday and that’s a bit more of a free flow.
Mallory Schlabach
I love that. Everything that was mentioned will be in the show notes. So just swipe up in your phone right now and click on over. Can you also share how you work with people?
Irena Miller
So, I do have my free weekly show where people love to just kind of hop on and ask questions and interact that way. Then I also do work with people one-on-one. I have a wonderful group of people that I’m working with right now. And then I have my group program, which I am excited because I am going to be offering that in a new way. I have a program that I’ve been sharing for the last two years called the “Intuitive Energy Adventure.” We meet every other Saturday for live energy sessions, where I do an energy tune up and give you practical tools you can use.
Mallory Schlabach
Thank you so much. I think this was really helpful. It just really shifted the conversation to a place that’s more beneficial to people listening, because I think everybody has these fears and thoughts that spiral and come up.
Irena Miller
Oh, thank you for having me. Mallory. You’re just so incredible. It’s so delightful to talk with you.
Irena has been in business for 22 years teaching visionary women how to take rewarding action on their gut instincts. She draws on her logical background as a Decision Science major and her intuitive side as a Reiki Master, Yoga Teacher, and Energy Reader. She has a free weekly show – Inklings, a group program – the Intuitive Energy Adventure, and works 1:1. She is an Energy Alchemist and Guide that will shine a light on the blocked energy that can show up as limiting beliefs, self-sabotaging behaviors, and glass ceilings.
Connect with Irena:
Links:
http://www.irenamiller.com/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/yogawithirena/
About Marketing Magic:
The Marketing Magic podcast is where women entrepreneurs trying to do all the things come to get inspiration, business strategy, and on-air coaching on how to get their business noticed and growing. If you have a business that people need to know about in order for it to grow, you’re in the right place. This is the place to uncomplicate your marketing. Be sure to listen, subscribe, and leave a review! Join the conversation of other unapologetically successful women in her Facebook community, The #girlboss Club.
